


I'll Leave My Love (Hidden in the Sun)

by moongoddessluna



Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Human, Angst, F/M, Fluff, I'll add tags as I go along, M/M, Malec, Past Relationship(s), Teacher-Student Relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-07-08
Updated: 2013-07-13
Packaged: 2017-12-18 01:21:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/874057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moongoddessluna/pseuds/moongoddessluna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alec is nervous about college. He's painstakingly shy, reads about ninety percent of his time, and can't participate in social interaction to save his pathetic life. He knows he's probably never going to fit in with other people.</p><p>He hears college is the ninth circle of hell. The caffeine rush, the work, but he supposes it's conventional. No pain, no gain right? He's got it all under control.</p><p>But the last thing Alec expected was Magnus Bane.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> I started to write this around three to four AM so I apologize for future mistakes/typos seeing as this chapter is unbeta'd. 
> 
> Be free to point out any mistakes, and happy reading!

 

  
Alec is nervous about college.

Sure, he's applied to all the Ivy League colleges and various others seeing as he's trying to spread out his options to see what he wants to do.

His parents, of course, want him to carry the Lightwood legacy onwards and take over the firm one day. Alec's not even sure wants to do, less what to major in on and focus on but if he knows one thing is that he doesn't want to be like them.

He doesn't want to hide behind the money, the cars, the extravagance. He doesn't want to turn into his parents (who he barely sees anymore by the way) who are always preoccupied with something or someone else. If it wasn't the rare concern that flash behind his mother and father's eyes he would have thought they were machines. Robots.

He doesn't want that to be him.

When Alec does decide that what he wants to study is criminology and eventually, possibly work in the police force, he tells Isabelle.

Who, in a middle of a disruptive family dinner, reveals that particular piece of information to their parents.

Of course they're pissed and they argue endlessly about it. And when they mention they want him to Harvard he decides on Berkeley as a prompt 'fuck you' to them.

Harvard may be the best but Berkeley may not be such a bad thing either.

                                                                                                           ...

Alec has been in love with Jace, for what, ten years ?

Alec doesn't know. His memories are all one big mess of his blatant and noisy childhood.

When Jace first came into the family, he'd been around seven and had been a year older than him but was still at Alec's height.

They'd instantly bonded and Jace gradually forged one with Isabelle.

Alec's parents, Robert and Maryse, had still been around them and did normal things families did.

They played board games, watched movies, baked a cake together and had even gotten a cat.

The first night Jace spent the night he could've sworn he heard his mother singing the French lullaby she used to put Alec to sleep with when he was younger.

All of that changed when they all became of age and didn't need anyone watching them. Alec supposes that the birth and death of their still-born brother Max plays a part in this too. Sometimes he hears his mom cry when she thinks their asleep and holds an antique urn to her chest that normally decorates the interior of the living room.

Sometimes he wonders if anything would have fundamentally changed if there had been a baby crawling around the house.

Then they suddenly started working nights, days, and sometimes spent a week at the most without seeing them.

Isabelle then started to grow taller, talk about boys, how she needed to lose weight and Jace's face started becoming all glass-cut angles and cheekbones.

Alec eventually grew into his skinny limbs and began to work out as Jace did the same.

 

 

Alec knew he was gay. He knew that in 8th grade when he's gotten a boner (thank god no one noticed) at a school dance watching Jace from a distance in his too-small but nicely fitted jeans.

Isabelle had found out when he'd started looking at Jace from the corner of his eye while Jace had done his daily exercise regimen in the 10th grade.

"You're really transparent like that," Isabelle had told him consolingly, patting one of his cheeks with her hand.

"You're not going to tell mom and dad are you?" He'd asked her in a panic.

Isabelle sniffed disdainfully. "As if. It's your choice, mom would have a coronary."

Her expression flickers and goes soft. "I know it's hard but I'm here for you, whatever the cause or need."

" I love you," she says as she's leaving his doorway. "And try not to wet your boxers." She snickers and closes the door behind her before leaving.

"It was one time!" He yells angrily at her though he knows there's no real bite in it.

He hears her short bark of laughter before he grumbles and tries to get back to studying for the SATS.

                                                                                      ...

When they hand him his high school diploma at the ceremony, he sees the startlingly flashing white light as someone snaps a picture of him.

He doesn't even try to look at the crowd for his parents and can't help but feel a morose wave of disappointment that they're not here.

It quickly goes away though as soon as he's engulfed by Isabelle's familiar smell as she hugs and kisses his cheek sloppily.

Isabelle is somewhat rare when it comes to affection so he always takes it in stride when she randomly hugs him or ruffles his hair playfully.

Jace gives him a short and brief half-hug when he's out of Isabelle's death grip and blushes all the way to his ears when he feels the hard, defined contours of his body.

High school graduation has never been sweeter.

                                                                                                           ...

He doesn't go to the after party with Isabelle who is wearing gravity-defying boots and Jace who is looking irresistible in leather.

Alec is more of a quiet person and prefers to sit down and read for hours at a time. It's kind of ironic for someone who hopes to be a cop or detective someday.

But who else is going to look at dorms, apartments, and pack up all of their stuff? If it's not Alec who's going to do all that stuff, then who will?

College was going to turn his world upside fucking down.

Alec just wished he hadn't known how right he had been.

 


	2. ii.

 

It's August now and the weather has turned for the worse seeing as it's ridiculously hotter. Her name is Clary, Alec learns later on. She has bright red hair along with green eyes, and a numerous amount of freckles on her ghostly face.

Alec hates her on sight. She's tiny and adorable to everyone, especially Jace it seems. But he can't help what he feels, goddamn it.

It was supposed to be a relaxing day for him. But, no, apparently God has other plans because he comes into the living room to peacefully grab some water when he walks in in them sharing those giant subs that Subway is always offering.

They're talking about Clary's classes that she's currently attending at NYU along with pieces of her art.

Unnoticed, he grabs the giant bottle of water from the shiny, chrome fridge and may have or may have not panicked slightly when he notices the type of eyes Jace is making at her.

His heart feels like it dropped into the bottom of his stomach because they're not flitting down to her small chest like he's done to the all the other girls. Instead, his nearly golden eyes are intensely fixed on her pale face.

It becomes too intimate for him when Jace tucks a coppery curl behind her tiny elven ear.

Alec wants to gag and vomit and hurl. He manages to leave with breakneck speed without looking back even once.

Later when he's trying to sleep, he convinces himself that she's nothing more than a past time, a fling, to Jace, that he'll move on. Alec knows that he's only lying and deluding himself, but it's the only thing that will get him to relax.

For now.

                                                                                                                                ...

 

Alec sees her with Isabelle next. His sister and Clary are side by side and they're painting their toenails some ghastly girly color.

It's Saturday today and their parents are in Europe for the rest of the month, and he really didn't certainly see this coming. Isabelle doesn't have that many girl friends because A) they have either stabbed her in the back or B) they're thoroughly intimated by Isabelle's fierce personality. It doesn't stop a few of them from using Isabelle to get to Jace.  
That, and it's only been two weeks since the Sub Encounter.

Isabelle and Clary are discussing where the hottest party spots they should hit before the rest of the summer fades away and classes and the workload begins.

Alec blocks out most if their conversation as he digs around the kitchen to look around for a light smack. He eventually decides on a small blueberry-flavored granola bar and some 2% milk when an aforementioned name makes him stop in his tracks, making spill the milk carton all over.

Color instantly floods into his cheeks when he rushes to grab the mop and looks back find their amused eyes fixed on him.

"Sorry," Alec mutters as he ducks his head and stares dejectedly at the currently messy floor. He just waxed the floor this morning, God dang it.

Alec ignores them and puts his effort into cleaning the floor up.

Isabelle and Clary go back talking, but more quietly now.  
When he turns back, Alec catches the slight red flush on Clary's cheeks and suddenly doesn't have any wish to know anything as Isabelle dramatically whispers a scandalous thing in her ear.  
                                                                                                                         ...

 _He should have known better_ , is the first thing that pops into his mind.

Jace is actually serious about this girl. He can already tell by the way that they gravitate torwards each other whenever the the two are in the same room. The way his mouth curves up into a smile, full and genuine.

It's also in how Jace has never, ever brought any of his previous flings home. Jace always makes them head to their place and not his because he has never wanted more.

 _I guess, until now_ , Alec thinks sullenly as he passes Jace's bedroom where Clary is spending the night .

"I'm sorry," Isabelle whispers in his ear as she hugs him. A minute later, she grins and adds to him," Don't go to sleep." She leaves him confunded for a minute before he shrugs to himself as Isabelle slinks her way back to her bedroom. He's pretty sure by this point he doesn't want to know what's concocting in that evil mastermind brain of hers.

So Alec holds onto his snacks and curls up in his bed to read _A Game of Thrones_  before he knows it  he's successfully asleep by ten-thirty.

...

In his experience, good things never last. Especially peace.

"Wake up!" Isabelle hisses loudly in his ear.

In response, Alec groans and rolls over, cradling a paperback to his chest.

Isabelle yells in his ear next which ends up with Alec smacking her with the heavy book he'd been fondling.

Isabelle amazingly doesn't respond which makes him kind of nervous because maybe he knocked her out something, so Alec cracks open one blue eye only to see something so much worse.

She's smiling, and it's not her usual soft smile but is instead more evil- looking with a predatory edge to it.

It's the same smile that she gave Alec before she perfectly managed to manhandle him into one of her pink tutus when he was ten.

"Get up loser, we're going to Pandemonium."

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, I didn't really know what to expect. I apologize in advance for the spelling I wrote this on my iPod around three in the morning so yeah enjoy! Sorry for the shortness. Thoughts on this chapter? What you would like to see, etc. ?

**Author's Note:**

> Thoughts?


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